Friday, February 6, 2009

How to Get Back My Ex When He's Moved on to What's Next

If you're asking, "How to get my ex back when he's moved on?" you've probably already been broken up a while. You've been on several dates and probably been in a few relationships...but now, you're thinking of taking another chance on him whether or not you broke up with him or he broke up with you. The first thing you need to understand is that "this" venture will require patience on your part.

According to T 'Dub' Jackson's "The Magic of Making Up," here are the first things you need to do:
  • Test his attitude toward you-if it's been quite some time since the break-up, and he's still not open to communicating with you, then the rest is pointless-you can't follow the rest of the tips if you can't get near him. Call him up to see how he's doing, and take note of how he responds. Here's an example of what you can say:

    "Hey John, what's up; I haven't talked to you in a while and I just wanted to see how you're doing; I hope everything's good."

    If he still has a sore spot where you're concerned, you may be better off just leaving him be. If he's receptive to your call without any animosity, then continue the call with small talk and keep it short-Do not tell him you miss him!
  • Call him again-since the first call was a success, you can feel confident to call again...but WAIT for two or three days before calling. This will show him that you're not up to anything, but that he is on your mind because you've suddenly, but subtly made your presence known again without pouncing on him. You could say something like this:

    "It was really good talking to you the other day, so I just thought I'd call again while I had a few minutes to spare."

    He has to think that you have a life, and again, keep this call short, light and airy.

  • One more call-but this time, wait for about a week (no less than a full seven days). Casually ask him to a movie or something (this is not a "date"); you're just bored and looking for something to do.

    He may call you before the seven days because you've already contacted him twice, but then suddenly...nothing-which actually puts you back on his mind. If he does call you, go ahead with your plans of asking him to a movie (still a non-date); if he's the one who called, then he'll probably say yes. You could say something like:

    "Hey, I was thinking about going to a movie later and I thought you might want to come TOO.

    Make sure he knows he's an inclusion, and not the reason.
  • Stay in the present-whether on the phone or on an outing-don't talk about the prior relationship-keep the conversation light-hearted and don't get too deep. Small chit-chat proves you're not up to anything.If he brings up the relationship-politely and quickly answer, without too much detail, and then change the subject. Don't make it obvious that you're trying to change the subject, but when you change it, you'll turn up his curiosity knob; he'll wonder, "Then if she doesn't want to hook up again; what is all this really about?"
  • Be friends-now that the lines of communication are open again-just be his friend and have fun! But don't force the fun-if he's ready to end the non-date or get off of the phone-simply, part ways without expectations or plans of the next encounter...unless he initiates them of course.
  • Don't sleep with him-the curiosity knob has been turned up, so he'll probably want to test you, but don't give in - if you do, then he'll assume he knew all along what you were up to, and everything you've worked for will be lost-and he will only have proved his point.

    Note: Getting him to sleep with you does not mean you have him back.

    Keep his interest by keeping up the curiosity-if you don't sleep with him, he'll take you seriously-which makes you a new person to him-you become mouth-watering because he can't have what he wants. If he really wants you, then he'll begin to do things that will make you want him. (Of course he has no clue that you've wanted him all along.)

  • Let him ask for another chance--now that he's interested again, it's important not to jump the gun. Let him express his desire to be with you again-if you bring it up, then you've removed the thrill of "the chase" from him. When he asks-Go for it!

    If he has a ex-girlfriend revenge during the beginning stages of your quest, you'll be able to determine how serious it is or isn't. If you've made it all the way to the point of him asking you back and he's had a ex-girlfriend revenge the whole time, make sure he has broken it off with her before you say okay, and before you sleep with him.

    If he's trying to sleep with you while he has a ex-girlfriend revenge, then he may not really be interested in you, and if that's the case, then it's better that you didn't sleep with him anyway.

    I wish you the best, but you're going to need more in-depth preparation if you're serious about trying to get your ex back after he's moved on. You can discover more from the
    "Magic of Making Up" system, from which these tips were taken.

    Good luck!

    Rhondi offers more tips and advice at Second Chance at Romance Sign in my guest book and ask me a question if you don't find what you're looking for.

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    posted by dancehuonk @ 1:19 PM

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